You can keep asking why and why but you won't have answers unless his willing to answer. Font push him.  You know what his like. Hope that time will make him think of good memories. Please please please think of good memories.  Try to be optimistic. Even if you get your hopes up and get crushed! 

Maybe hope for you recovery where you are happy again. Not so much just his return.  

WHY, why does ur gut feeling keep telling you that he just needs time,  you could be so wrong but everything just keeps making you think that.  Don't get get your hopes up too high. You will be crushed.  Keep hanging there.   Get lots of sleep. That helps a lot 

Watching dragons of berk series.  Takes ur mind off abit.  Just stay strong. Keep occupied. Find things to do and motivate. 

Tonight I am thankful for my dad and friends that are by my side.  My dad has let go of his reins a lot.. He took you to go by a TV.  He loves you and even tho you are unreasonable his still there for you. 

Your friends are by your side. They listen to you vent so much.  Not everyone has these type of people by their side. Maybe it if I didn't I would be stronger.  But I am thankful anyways.  

Now time to let this go for tonight. And deal with your struggles tommorow.   Remember there are many people out there suffering.  You are not alone.