His right... I've made my bed and I have to lie in it.  It gets worse sometimes.  I know this. But there's days where I will be fine! Hang in there! Be strong.  

I have super important task today.  Applying for jobs. Get my room together.! Bed sheets haven't come in yet but when it does I'll have a whole new room! 

My goal will be to go out and play with the dogs or go on loveshack. Right away when I'm feeling the desperate urge.   

Does he never get these urges :( it hurts like hell. How can he not ... We were so close.  Spending every free time we had together. I wish I could ask him. What does on in his head when this happen? What do I do to try calm him down? Sigh 

Time for pills to sleep tonight.  Been restless lately. No good